The encounter that I’m about to describe came in a moment of surrender to the Father.

My day had started early with God waking me up and speaking to me around 3 a.m. I sensed that this day would be special, though I didn’t know how. However, during the day, I struggled with my confidence and masculinity. In the midst of my struggle, the Holy Spirit asked me a simple, direct question: “You ready to be a man?”

His words cut through to my heart. He was inviting me to step into my true identity; one that is not defined by my past, what people think about me, or my own ideas about who I am, but instead by my Heavenly Father.

The Encounter

In the evening, after wrestling with God, I decided to go out on a walk.

After a while of complaining and telling God I’m not good enough to do what He’s called me to do, I finally surrendered. I said to the Father, “You can make me a man.”

I said this in the sense of telling God that He can help me walk in masculinity the way He designed it.

When I said this, it happened.

A spotlight from Heaven descended directly onto and around me. The light flashed every color of the rainbow and was like living color. Through this encounter, the Father Himself was affirming my surrender and saying, “Yes, you are My son, and I’ll help you walk as I designed you to as a man.”

Through this vision, it was as if God was declaring His promises over my life, affirming that His work in me was sure and unshakable. The colors weren’t just a fun display; they were a reminder of His multifaceted grace and His commitment to transform me into the man He created me to be.

A Heavenly Showman

After this encounter, I walked home, and upon entering the door, I realized that I felt a shift in my soul.

I felt like a Heavenly showman, carrying the joy, color, and creativity of Heaven in a way that would point others to the Father. It was as if God was showing me that His work isn’t always something solemn or serious; He loves fun too! He is vibrant, beautiful, and brings things back to life.

I’m still figuring out what it looks like to walk with God and show people who He is. I’ve seen miracles happen and people get healed, so whatever the Father has in mind is probably going to be exciting!

Update Aug 11, 2026:

I wrote this blog last year, sometime in 2025.
And I thought this would be a good spot to add some fresh thoughts about this encounter I had.

A lot has happened since I saw the rainbow spotlight for me. I’ve studied church history, different denominations, culture, and much more, and now I’d say I have a clearer understanding of what God was showing me at the time.

The thing about our modern culture, at least in the West, is that we assume some things about God, truth, and ourselves to just be true, without questioning our assumptions.

We tend to think that we get to define who we are; we get to shape our identity and destiny.

But if the God of historic Christianity exists, then this assumption isn’t true.
This God is Truth and is Worthy, and therefore, it’s from Him that all worth, identity, and meaning flow to His creation.

When the rainbow spotlight came upon me, God was reminding me of a foundational biblical truth through a visible expression of His glory (God’s glory is the weight and beauty of the fullness of His character; the rainbow appears in Scripture as a visual sign of that glory. See Ezekiel 1).

He was essentially telling me, “I am your Father and Creator. I define who you are. I will enable you to think and live in accordance with the identity and purpose I have already given you as My adopted son.”

The rainbow resting on me was a reminder of who He is and of His ability and faithfulness to do what He has promised.

It was also a declaration that my identity as God’s child was already set in stone, even while my behavior still didn’t match that reality.

God saw my struggles and my sin. None of it changed who He is, or who I am in Christ.

When Jesus redeemed me, He already saw and accounted for every resistance in my heart, including my hatred of Him, which I’ll talk about another time in my other content.

Through His love, foreknowledge, and power, He made a way for me to eventually desire and live out His plan for my life from a place of true love and worship of Him, even though for years I did not want to follow it.

The rainbow was His sign that the deeper truth was already reality: I already am who He says I am. I am already forgiven. I am already His adopted son. Because these things are true right now, He will continue to work in my life until my daily experience catches up with the identity He has already given me.

At the end of the day, this encounter communicates this beautiful truth:

I don’t get to define God (or myself); He gets to define me.

That’s it for my update. The rest of this blog is still the original blog I wrote in 2025.

Closing Thoughts

This encounter marked a pivotal moment for me in accepting the masculinity Jesus created me to walk in.

It reminded me that God the Father doesn’t leave His children in shame. Instead, He invites us to rise, to step into His calling, and to embrace the identity He’s shaping within us.

To anyone reading this, I want to encourage you:

Just like how the Father met me in that moment of surrender, He’s ready to meet you.
If you let go and say, ‘You can make me who You’ve created me to be,’ He will.
And when He does, it will be more colorful, more alive, and more joyful than you ever imagined.

If you want to learn how to build a relationship with God, we have resources to help you do so here.